isip na nakakahon

1 [First Draft]

2009-02-07T22:45:00.001-08:00

Nakilala ko si Kari noong mga panahong nahuhumaling ako sa anarkismong pananaw at pananamit. Tumigil na ako sa pag-iiskateboard noong mga panahong iyon- isa sa aking mga unang pagtigil, 'pagkat maraming beses akong tumigil sa pag-iiskate, mas marami pa sa inaakala ko noong panahong iyon. Sa katunayan ay inakala kong hindi na ako muling tatapak sa skateboard.
Isang normal na hapon iyon nang lumabas akong kalakip ang isang retrato ng ni Tim Armstrong ng Rancid sa aking kamay. Cover sleeve iyon ng album nilang Indestructible. Naka-gear ako noong hapon na iyon, nangangahulugang suot ko ang karaniwang masikip na pantalon, makapal na jacket at ang matigas na botang Doc Martens. Kahit na sapat na ang kaalaman ko sa anarkismo noon, kamakailan ko lang napagnilayan kung bakit ko nga ba kinailangan pang magsuot ng ganoong kasuotan. Oo nga't ito ang karaniwang suot ng mga musikerong nagtataguyod ng anarkismo at mga tunay na pankista subalit may katotohanang hindi nga angkop sa ating lipunan ang ganitong pananamit ng dahil sa klima at sa mahal ng DMs sa Pilipinas.
Walang naglalaro noong araw na iyon maliban kay Carlo, at sa isang lalaking kalaunan ay makikilala ko bilang si Kari. Nagsisimula palang kaming matuto ng panahon na ito, at sa naalala ko ay hindi naman ako lubusan pang tumitigil sa pag-iiskate noong nangyari ito. Wala lang akong panahon maglaro dulot ng labis na pagpupuyat kapupunta sa mga konsyerto.
Guma-gap sila ng one deck na sa dila ng skater na Pilipino ay nangangahulugang lumulundag sila sa isang skateboard na nakatagilid sa pamamagitan ng pag-ollie dito. Sa aking tantsya ay isang buwan pa lamang kami natuto nito, sapilitan pa dahil sa isang pangyayaring tutukuyin ko sa susunod na yugto ng librong ito. Kung kaya't iba ang impresyon ko sa dahuyang ito na tila bihasa na sa tirang ito 'pagkat kitang kita ang tinatawag na consistency sa kanyang galaw at walang kahirap-hirap niya itong ginagawa ng paulit-ulit. Kapansin-pansin din ang mga tira niya na wala pa kami, tulad ng BS Pop Shove It at Kickflip. Higit nga ang lamang ng karanasan ng taong ito kumpara sa amin.
Subalit kung kapansin-pansin na ang kanyang malulupit na tira (noong panahon na iyon), mas kapansin-pansin ang kanyang kasuotan: bagkus pang-araw-araw na kasuotan ang t-shirt at hindi naman masyadong kaka-iba ang pagsusuot ng shorts sa isang skater, kagulat-gulat ang reyalidad na hindi siya nakasapatos- siya ay naka-sandals. At hindi iyon biro; ito talaga ang pang laro niya. Doon ako napahanga.
Sandali pa'y tumayo ako sa aking kina-uupan, isang baitang ng isang dating tindahan sa harap ng aming bahay, at lumapit ako kay Carlo na diretso ang titg sa deck, na wari ba'y nag-iisip kung ano ang kanyang titrahin.

“Sino yan?” ang wika ko sa aking mahinang boses habang tumitira si Kari. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, subalit nang sandaling iyon ay tila pamilyar ang dayuhan. Nakita ko na siya dati, ang sabi ko sa sarili ko.

Nanatiling siyang nakatayo sa kabilang dulo, kaharap si Carlo, at nang nakutubang hindi ito titira ay tumakbo sabay sakay sa skateboard at ginapan ang isang skateboard, na isang sulyap ay nakilalang kay Arvin. Tumigil na siya sa harapan namin at pinakilala ito ni Carlo bilang si Kari.

Himagsik

2009-02-05T12:01:00.000-08:00

Sa paglisan ng tagak kasabay ang paglisan ng halimuyak
na minsang ninais at pinagkait sa pagpikit ng miminsang tadhana.

Minsa'y nagwika: alam mo kung sino
                                             kilala mo kung sino
                               at ang muntikang kalabit ng gatilyo sa kuwarenta'y singko.

Ang pait ay tumuldok sa himpapawid, at panawid gutom ang pulburang bumura sa kamalayan.

         Naglaho na ang pag-asa. Naglaho na ang pananabik. Naglaho na ang magtataho sa tahol ng mga
                                                                                                                                                             aso.

Tapos na ang mga kahol & ikaw ay kuhol: Isang aninong nakahawla, patingin-tingin at bumabanat
      ng mga katagang: paano kaya kung, ano kaya kung ako

Subalit alam mo ang dahilan ng paglayas ng kalayaan:

      Malawak ang himpapawid, malalim ang dagat & mabangis ang lupa.

my past life diagnosis- weird and disturbing

2009-01-30T06:08:00.000-08:00

You can get yours here.

Your past life diagnosis:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Romania around the year 1325. Your profession was that of a leader, major or captain.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
It always seemed to you that your perceptions of the world are somewhat different. Your lesson is to trust your intuition as your best guide in your present life.

Do you remember now?

Hell yeah. You might say it's crap, but it's pretty accurate, at least for me and it disturbs me.

Sugar Weed

2009-01-15T08:18:00.000-08:00

In swirving walls of dehydrated tongue you laugh.
Your world spins as you lay still.
With dirty minds and endless thoughts you crawl.
Blurred sightings of unknown images are seen.
Souls and spirits inside those belly screams.
It leaves you cold as you long for stomach fillers.
Your drowsy eyes sees something so fast that you really didn't see anything.
Still...
You lay there...
laughing...

Chroma

2009-01-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

I render the value of Black and White.
In my little head of colors and lines.
My hands made form of many complex feelings inside my chest.
A lot of whites turning tints.
A lot of blacks turning shades.
A lot of greys turning tones.
My works are subdued.
Strong interpretations are neutralized for self expression.
I'm not loud although inside I am.
Changes in me dances as they wait to come out.
They're turning me in.
I am.
Myself.
A strong and vivid color.

Si Durog

2009-01-11T00:42:00.000-08:00

Sa magulo't maduming mundo ng parasitismo lumaki si Durog, kung kaya't lumaking matatag. Bata pa lamang siya'y bihasa na sa suntukan, isang larong kinalakihan sa pampublikong paaralan. Elementarya pa lamang ay marunong nang magsugal, at kasing dumi ng kinalakihan ang bukambibig ng bata. Lasenggero, sugarol, alak at baraha ay pang-araw-araw na tanawin sa mundong ginagalawan. Isang lasenggero at isang sugarol ang tumatayong ama at ina.

Sumali sa isang samahan, asul ang kulay. Ang kanilang layunin: itaob ang kaaway, mga pula. Walang naiintindihan si Durog dito, o kahit sino sa kanyang mga kasama. Basta ang layunin: Gapiin ang kaaway ay makilala. Marami pang masasabi sa buhay ni Durog, kung hindi sa balang nakabaon ngayon sa kanyang ulo.

Random Linux Post

2009-01-09T22:28:00.000-08:00

"'Free software' is a matter of liberty, not price. To understand the concept, you should think of "free" as in 'free speech,' not as in 'free beer.'"

                                                                                             - The GNU Software Definition

       We all grew up using one Operating System, and I am pretty sure that the new blood still does. Maybe not all of us, but at least in my generation, at least 99.8% grew up using one Operating System. And yes, I am referring to Microsoft Windows.
       Personally, I do not have any problem with Microsoft Windows. I grew up using it and Macintosh, but I've only used Macintosh in my early years, as far as I remember, when I was still in Grade 2. It was a lot easier to use as compared to Windows, for it uses a lot of graphics, unlike Windows which tends to focus on words and phrases. Windows offers clear explanation for each, though nothing beats that power of imagery and intuitive icons. If I am not mistaken, Macintosh has first introduced the Graphical User Interface or the GUI, for I remember my mom back in the days using Windows 3.1. It uses Command Line Interface and I remember using a Mac computer then which already has a black and white GUI.
       You might be wondering by now why I am talking about these two Operating Systems when I should be explaining why I switched over to a new one which only a few people knows that such OS exists. Well these two OS are the most popular and people find it peculiar why I switched over to a "not-so-popular" OS, at least on where I live. Most reaction I get from people is a smirk, followed by "Is it easy to use Linux? Some people said they had a hard time using it" and such, and some people even look at it as inferior as compared to Microsoft and Macintosh and they are really skeptical when it comes to performance. Well, here's my defense.
       The notion that Linux is hard to use is like 20 summers ago. Some people still refer to Linux as a pure Command Line Interface OS, and does not have a good GUI like the two popular OS I have mentioned above. If you are still under that impression, you might be living under a rock for decades! I could say that Linux has better GUI than any OS I have used because it gives you choices. What do I mean? Instead of the usual taskbar with Start menu with icons on the desktop or the clean desktop with a familiar dock, in Linux, there are several Desktop Environments that you could choose from, each of them has an array of features that is suited to your preference or hardware. For instance, there is the traditional GNOME desktop environment which is common on most Linux distributions. There is also the K Desktop Environment or KDE which is targeted to new Linux users who are well accustomed in using Microsoft Windows. Plus there is also the XFCE desktop environment which is becoming popular in the past few months. It is an extremely lightweight desktop environment which could bring an old computer to life, for the applications that are bundled with it uses less memory consumption and requires less processing speed. There are endless customizations that could be done on each of the desktop environments I have mentioned and you won't get bored; you can get the look that you want and need. And, you won't ever have to go into suspicious sites again looking for cracks and or syndicated Serial Numbers for your software since everything is free in Linux. Well, almost all are free, only a few programmers charge for their programs and they come real cheap if they does.
   Speaking of cracks, well in Linux, you don't need them so no need to bother. I know some of us ( and I should say a lot of us here ) have used pirated software, pirated OS and all things that are not that legal and I should say I grew tired of it. It's like this: Why would I use such commercial OS when I cannot really afford it? I mean how much is OS X or Vista these days? That's only the core OS, how about additional productivity software, which are sold separately? Being street smart, we could always manage to get some "cracked" or "stripped" or worst "pirated" versions, but come on, show the programmers some respect. They certainly need the money that's why they chose to work there. And why count on them if there are ones out there who are willing to make authentic software for all of us to enjoy for free? All they need is support. And they are going to support us back.
       Another thing that made me switch to Linux is speed. I know, this statement of mine might trigger a lot of grunts and "Come on"s from a lot of people since they believe that the computer's hardware is responsible for that, meaning that if you have a great specs, then it would be great with any OS and vice versa. Well that might be true, but I am sure that a new Windows box would run like a charm the first few days and then after a week or so, it will start to lag and faster boot times might then be noticeable. It is caused by the fact that there are thousands of viruses and worms known in Microsoft, while there are only around 400 known viruses in Linux and Mac OS. That's just a rough estimate.
      Add all those useless services (programs that run in the background) that came installed in Windows XP and you'll get a boot time close to five minutes. Well...
       The Support system of Linux is really interesting. Instead of calling a number and paying for Tech Support Representatives, all you have to do to get support is to have an internet connection. In Linux, you get support from the user community and not from hired technical people. You just need to register in your distribution's community forum and fire your questions their. Help would be there in 1-2 hours time, and in several week's time, you'll see yourself gaining familiarity with the Linux distribution that you have chosen and you'll see yourself hanging out in the community forums, helping newcomers out.
       There are a lot of great things I could mention about Linux, but let me clarify things out: Linux is just the kernel used, and not the OS. A kernel together with the bundled software makes a so called distribution. Those distributions that uses the Linux kernel are Ubuntu, Fedora, Mandriva, Debian, OpenSUSE and etc. Among the most famous are Ubuntu, as they said it is the most user friendly and I have to admit that it has a great community. Personally, I use Fedora, not because Linus Torvalds himself and all the computers at NASA uses it, but I guess I just got used at using it and I feel uncomfortable using any other distributions.
       Linux and Open Source OS and applications seems to be more popular now than ever due to the sudden boom of netbooks and other low priced portable devices that comes with Linux pre-installed.
To end this post, I would say that GNU/Linux would be the future of computing, it does not solely give us free software, it also gives everyone an idea of how everything works inside the box.

Sa Kubeta

2009-01-08T23:06:00.000-08:00

Napatigil sa kinanatatayuan si Emong ng makita ang munting likha ng Diyos na tila'y nakadikit sa pader. Mabilis ang pagkalat ng kilabot sa katawan, dugong umaakyat sa ugat na tila ba kable ng kuryenteng iwinaksi sa payapang katawang tubig.

Mabilis ang daloy ng alaala sa utak ni Emong na binulabog ng kahindik-hindik na nakita. Wari ba'y ipinako ang paa sa kinatatayuan, patuloy na pinagmasdan ni Emong ang sanhi ng kanyang pag-aalala. Kasing haba ng maraming mga paa nito ang lalim ng kanyang bawat hinga.

Alam niyang hindi muna siya makapapasok sa silid na ito: Hangga't sariwa sa kanyang diwa ang imahe ng malaking gagambang naka-dikit sa pader.

Bodom Lake Murders

2009-01-08T10:08:00.000-08:00

       I can't think of doing anything yesterday. Plus there are always days like yesterday when, even with the vast web of the internet and everything that it has to offer, I can't think of doing anything with it. Have I checked all my social networking accounts? Yes. Have I checked my accounts at Tribal Wars? Yes. Have I read all my RSS feeds? Hell yes. Have I checked my posts on all the forums on where I exist? Yes. Have I opened my E-mail client? Yes. Even with all of these done, the irritating presence of what to do still hounds me and would not go even after watching some interesting clips from YouTube, the nasty feeling of searching or rather contemplating on what to do productively still remains.
       So I just thought I'd research something about one of my favorite bands. I am listening to Blood Stain Child at the moment, and whichever music site I go, fans of Children of Bodom spams and claims that Blood Stain Child is a Children of Bodom rip-off. Personally, I think they are not and besides they no longer sound like COB these days, rather they have a new and unique style which is like blending Nu Metal, Melodic Death Metal and Trance.
       I decided instead to take on Children of Bodom. What exactly is Bodom? Haven't read that when I have researched Goetia last week. And why are they Children of Bodom? Nah, no idea. What is the song Bodom Beach Terror from their Hatecrew Deathroll album all about? So this is a good opportunity, I thought.
       I already know before that Children of Bodom is from Finland. So what I did is my so called "dumb-and-quick-way-to-research" method which is basically using Google and typing Children of Bodom there. I know Googling is not that efficient way to research things and my Research would surely kill me if it found out about it, but hey, I am free to do whatever I want now.
       After skimming a few hits from the search engine, I finally found out about this Bodom Lake Murders which took place in Bodom Lake which could be found on Espoo, Finland. It happened in 1960, but it is still popular in Finland as of this time, since the suspect is not yet found. It says in the sources that whenever news or new rumors or theories about it spreads, it would surely be on the news that day. Yes, you are correct. That's where Children of Bodom is from. The place is a couple of kilometers away from Helsinki.
       So what's the deal about it? Well on June 4, 1960, four teenagers decided to camp on Lake Bodom, then from what I found out, at around 4am to 6am, an unknown person or persons attacked the campers, killing three of them with multiple knife stabs and bludgeoning and then seriously wounding the sole survivor. There are so many theories about it, and last 2004, the sole survivor, Nils Wilhelm Gustafsson was arrested for he became suspect. He was acquitted of all charges on October 7, 2005. You could find precise information here, here and here.
       Now I know what Bodom is, and I founf out that Children of Bodom usually compose 2-3 songs per album about the Bodom Lake Murders. That's it for now. I just remembered I need to do the plates. lol.

random is what we aim for

2009-01-06T08:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, never mind that crappy title. I just can't think of anything, but I've got some news. I decided it would be fun to add contributors to this blog, which are members of Kanin Baboy Crew, anyway. They are Carlock Rascal, sheknowsnothing and former member Jhessa Vicious. As you can see, we all have different fields of interest and tastes, as well as influences so you can expect random stuff to be filling this blog in no time.

Also, we are filming KBC's first decent skate vid, and basically, that's keeping us busy at the moment. Well, enough of this.

uneasy

2008-12-10T05:40:00.000-08:00

twenty and still brimming with ideas and possibilities.

one day, I got stuck in a reality that exists in a web of advanced capitalism, coexisting with everything else

then I lost everything.

'what to do with my money when I cannot have anything that I really like?', I asked myself some other day.

'no, that's the way how it should go. no other thing to do. three years or so or later you'll find yourself here. you just came to the party earlier, but hey, you're not alone. look around.', replied whoever.

my mouth started to rant like a guilty politician.

'whoever wanted !@#$ like this? from birth to slave 'til death. there has too be something different. whoever wanted to kill himself in exchange with these !@#$% things?'

still on the web though. waiting.

Installing Cairo-Dock on the Acer Aspire One

2008-11-19T05:55:00.000-08:00

Cairo-Dock is an OSX-ish application laucher that you could place on your desktop to replace your panel. Or if you're like me, you could have both and will make your desktop similar to this [It is recommended to have at least 1GB of RAM though]:

Hopefully, it is fairly easy once you have activated the standard XFCE desktop and set aside the Acer modified desktop, instructions on how to do that could be found here. Of course, this is assuming that you already have added the new RPM-Fusion repositories, if you haven't yet, then simple instructions could be found here.

Once we have the standard XFCE desktop, we need to activate Compiz [it is a program pre-installed and can make great 3D effects on your desktop] by downloading Fusion-Icon. Just go to the Terminal and then type in:

sudo yum install fusion-icon

After installation, we can run it by pressing Alt+F2 on your keyboard and then typing in fusion-icon and then click Run. You will know if it is successful if you see a new blue icon on your system tray [where the clock, etc. is]. You can right click it for you to configure some effects that you might like to enable. If you might ask and be interested what Emerald theme is, it is a theme manager and you can get themes for it by opening the package manager and searching for emerald-themes. Later on this guide, we are going to add fusion-icon and cairo-dock so that they would run automatically upon startup.

Now that we have fusion-icon, all we need to do is to get the cairo-dock RPM from any of the mirrors listed in here. After downloading it, just double click it and it will automatically installed. You can find it in you menu under System, named Cairo-Dock. Click on it and then the dock will appear in your desktop. Right click it so that you can personalize it and adding applications is as easy as dragging and dropping .desktop files from /usr/share/applications to the dock, or you can create manually configured lauchers/subdocks/etc. if you want.

Themes for it are also available, try searching some at http://rpm.pbone.net/ by typing in cairo-dock-themes. I got my themes there but I forgot the direct link, but I'll update this later.

Now if you notice, fusion-icon and cairo-dock does not open upon startup. This can be easily remedied by opening a Terminal and typing:

xfce4-autostart-editor

A new window should pop up and just add those two applications, the commands being cairo-dock and fusion-icon, respectively. And that's pretty much it.

Have fun on your new desktop!

Installing Mozilla Thunderbird and Pidgin on Acer Aspire One

2008-10-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

This How-To is Acer modded Linpus Lite specific, please don't try this on an Acer Aspire One that has Microsoft Windows XP or Vista installed.

This How-To will guide you in installing Mozilla Thunderbird and Pidgin Messenger in your Aspire One and change the icon on your desktop to the original icon. This will only work assuming that you are still using AME or the Acer e-mail client that came pre-installed with your Aspire One and the Acer Messenger as well.

First thing that we need to do is to uninstall AME, by typing this command in the Terminal [alt+f2 and then type Terminal and then click on Run]:

sudo yum remove evolution-data-server libpurple

When the terminal is finally done performing those task, we can go ahead and install Pidgin and Thunderbird using pirut or in my case the Smart Package Manager [assuming the you have already signed keys using this command: sudo yum update fedora-release]. Open pirut or Smart and then search for Pidgin and then Thunderbird. After we're done with that, we're going to associate both programs with the default Mail and Messenger icon by typing these commands on the Terminal:

cd /usr/acer/bin
sudo ln -s /usr/bin/thunderbird AME
sudo ln -s /usr/bin/pidgin UIM

Well actually, it is as easy as that and we are done. You should now be able to use Mozilla Thunderbird and Pidgin using the default icons, but in case you are unhappy with those icons and wants to have the original icons, don't worry because we can do that by going to the Terminal and then typing:

sudo mousepad /usr/share/applications/AME.desktop

It should open a notepad that has a lot of text written on it and just in case you want to label the icon differently, let's say change it from E-mail to Thunderbird, just replace the text after Name= and GenericName= to your preferred name. Let's get back to the icon. When we scroll down, we should be able to see a line that says Icon= , just replace it with thunderbird.png, save it and we're done. Well, sad to say for Pidgin it has to be done in a different way and I'll just cover that on my next post, because it involves tweaking of group-app.xml, and a single mistake can ruin your desktop.

If you're already satisfied, then that's all, however for additional info, you can read below.

So now we have Mozilla Thunderbird and its original icon, what to do next? Well this is not that necessary but just in case you found out, the Mozilla Thunderbird we just installed does not update itself automatically and if we check on the Help menu, Check for Updates is grayed out, that is due to the fact that this version of Thunderbird is from the Fedora 8 [the Linux distribution where Linpus is based] repository. So in order for us to fix this, we need to do these steps in the Terminal so that we will be getting the official release from Mozilla and we're going to install it in the /opt directory. This is how:

wget "http://download.mozilla.org/?product=thunderbird-2.0.0.17&os=linux&lang=en-US"

sudo tar -xvf thunderbird-2.0.0.17.tar.gz --directory /opt

And then a lot of unpacking happens. After it's done we can type this again in the Terminal:

sudo chown user -R /opt/thunderbird
sudo mousepad /usr/share/applications/AME.desktop

And we just need to change the Exec= line to look just like this:

Exec=/opt/thunderbird/thunderbird

That's pretty much it. But if you're bothered to have 2 Mozilla Thunderbirds installed in your Aspire One, we can delete the old one via pirut or Smart but it will delete the icon as well which can be remedied easily by searching Google these keywords that I have used which is 'thunderbird.png 64x64'. Just copy the image to your Downloads folder and then move it to the pixmaps directory using this command:

sudo cp /home/user/Downloads/thunderbird.png /usr/share/pixmaps

After that, we're done. Have fun!